I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
