she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
