just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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