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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
