Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
