I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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