Duck Duck Cougar?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
