like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
