so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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