Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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