No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
