guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
