You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
