Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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