you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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