Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
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