...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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