Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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