Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
