if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Randomize
