How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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