I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize