Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
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I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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