There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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