my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
