this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Sorry about my life...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
