she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
