So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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