he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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