spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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