once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
two words...techno handjob
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
