so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
