You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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