i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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