and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
