Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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