This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
