My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
