So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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