I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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