no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's shark week go big or go home
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
