I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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