Will you blow on my dice?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
