On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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