i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
