it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
