thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize