I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
