So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
