just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
