you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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