I'm lost and stupid without you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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