we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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