Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Two words: blizzard sex
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
