in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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