I met the friendliest cop last night
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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