i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
