You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Jerry, you need to find god
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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