he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
