Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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