Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do vagina's smell?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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