just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
