I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
