I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize