he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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