It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
