Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
soo... how was my night?
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